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The spaces we occupy are more than just physical entities; they are repositories of memories, emotions, and experiences. For many of us, certain spaces become intertwined with significant life events, making them sacred or, at times, painful to revisit. Whether it’s due to PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) or another traumatic experience, these spaces hold a power over us that’s hard to comprehend until we’re faced with their haunting presence.

After the heart-wrenching experience of finding my dad unresponsive in my office bathroom, that very space became a constant reminder of the trauma. The very walls echoed flashbacks of the sounds of CPR, the frantic 911 call, and the surreal sight of watching my dad slip away. It was followed by the arrival of several EMS personnel, firefighters, deputies, and detectives who transformed my once-peaceful office into a grim crime scene. (This is a common procedure in Texas when it’s a sudden unexpected death.)
The aftermath left me with PTSD, panic attacks, and night terrors, making it impossible for me to even step foot into the room. It’s something that’s forever burned into my memory, an indelible scar in my brain. It was clear that for my own well-being, I needed a change. (For more details on what had happened, you can read my previous blog post here.
The Emotional Weight + Trauma of Spaces
Every time I approached the door of my office, a flood of flashbacks and overwhelming panic would rush back, leaving me paralyzed. The space that was once filled with creativity and productivity had now become a haunting reminder of where the most horrific event of my life took place. It held a profound significance, as it was the last place I saw my dad before he was taken from me. The emotional weight of that room was unbearable, and it became clear that I needed to make a change for my own well-being.
The Need for a Fresh Start
Recognizing the toll it was taking on my mental health, I decided it was time for a fresh start. While the memories of my dad are something I cherish and hold close, the trauma associated with that particular space was hindering my healing process. I needed a new environment, a space devoid of those painful triggers where I could begin to work and be productive again.
After careful consideration, I made the decision to move my office to a different location. It was a daunting task, but I knew it was essential for my emotional well-being and professional growth. My husband was amazing and moved my monitor and equipment downstairs, just so that I wouldn’t need to go into the room.
The moment I stepped into my new office, a sense of relief washed over me. It was a blank canvas, ready to be filled with new memories and positive experiences. I took a deep breath, embracing the potential of a fresh start.
Crafting a New Sanctuary For PTSD

I chose a quiet corner downstairs to set up a mini office. This new space was distant enough from the old office to provide a sense of separation. It’s not much, honestly, just my old vanity with my monitor and MacBook in the corner of my bedroom.
The process of setting up the new office became a therapeutic exercise. I opted for a serene and minimalist design, carefully now shopping for each piece of furniture and decor to create a calming atmosphere. While I still hope to move out of this house someday, the current housing market conditions make it nearly impossible, so for now, this makeshift office will suffice. I’m not finished with it yet; there will be plants and additional decor to make it truly feel like my sanctuary.
Moving Forward With PTSD
Transitioning to the mini corner office downstairs has been a significant step in my healing journey. While the pain of loss is still very much present, and there are more bad days than good right now, this new space offers a sense of peace and solace. It’s a testament to the human spirit’s ability to adapt, heal, and find ways to move forward even in the face of profound grief.
Many have asked what PTSD is or what it does to a person. To provide a deeper understanding and support for those seeking information on PTSD, I’ve included a great resource here that offers valuable insights into the symptoms, causes, and treatment options for PTSD.
By educating ourselves and promoting awareness, we can contribute to creating a more compassionate and supportive environment for individuals struggling with PTSD.
Remember, reaching out for help is a sign of strength, and there are resources available to assist in the healing process.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, know that it’s perfectly fine to pursue change and establish different surroundings. Occasionally, a new beginning is precisely what we require to recover and uncover our inner resilience.
In conclusion, the journey of healing from trauma, especially when it’s linked to a physical space, is a complex and deeply personal one. Moving my office downstairs was not just a practical choice but a profound step toward reclaiming my mental well-being. It serves as a testament to the resilience of the human spirit, our capacity to adapt, and our innate need for renewal and growth.
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